Royal Enfield's new 650? Sorry, Bunty doesn't buy it

Royal Enfield's new 650 parallel twin motor, exploded view.

Reactions to the new Royal Enfield 650 parallel twin motor, unveiled Sunday in England, remain hopeful that today's reveal of the motorcycles it will power will be more inspiring.

There is a note of disappointment that the new motor is not 750cc. Royal Enfield boss Siddhartha Lal took that question head-on, on India TV.

He said 650cc is the right step up for the market, especially in India. The 750-800cc market is crowded, he said. The 650 represents that "one-step up" in the Royal Enfield product line. (That seemed to imply that there's always room for a second step later.)

And besides, "it will still do 100 miles per hour," he said.

But others worried that, even with 650cc, the new twin won't have the cherished "thump" of a Royal Enfield single. It is a relatively short stroke motor compared to the motorcycles Royal Enfield has produced for so long in India. It will produce its power at higher rpms, making it more likely to sing than thump.

Commented one member of the Yahoo Interceptor Group: "650? Oh dear. Such a small thing and so un-Enfield! Tsk, Tsk."

But, as always, the one steady voice in the crowd remained Maj. Bertram "Bunty" Golightly. The elderly (and probably fictitious) ne'er-do-well, bigot and cad first criticized me for calling the 650's overhead camshaft "21st Century." He pointed out that overhead camshafts have appeared in motor vehicles since the 19th Century.

And he went on:

Ye gods!
By the armoured gusset of Boadacea's battle drawers!
Royal Enfield have FINALLY produced a ruddy twin AT LAST.
I suppose one should run up the flag on the east tower or some such damned nonsense.
But a humble 650?
47 hp?
Even with a (21st Century) SOHC and 4 valves per cylinder.
One hopes that the motor was designed with further development in mind — don't yer know.
Hope there's enough meat between the cylinders to bore the blighter out — quite so.
Bunty had been looking forward to an earth stomping torquey fire breathing bloody dragon to power his new sidecar outfit.
This is akin to raising one's male first born to the age of majority and thence to be informed by said offspring that he will not join the regiment but is intent upon becoming a hairdresser.
Haruuumph!
I shall drown me sorrows with a magnum bottle of Meteor et Interceptre 69 and hope the bikes yet to be revealed are not so modest.
Good grief! One can but hope.

Your servant.

Maj. Bunty Golightly
MBH, Defender of the Kickstart