Passenger seat for Royal Enfield the cat's meow?

"Kitten Cushion" passenger pillion for Royal Enfield looks sporty.
Butt I foresee a problem.

"Keep the lady in your life happy with one and only Kitten Cushion Pillion Pad."

That's the advertising pitch from Classic Motorworks for its accessory passenger seat. I'm a big fan of Classic Motorworks and I try them first for everything I need for my 1999 Royal Enfield Bullet.

So, naturally, like any loyal friend, and being concerned about my relationship with my significant other, Classic Motorworks sent me an email today suggesting this pad might be just the thing for my lady.

The Kitten Cushion pillion pad is indeed a sleek little number, measuring a svelte 5.25 inches wide and 11 inches long. It's 3 inches deep at its deepest and it has no springs.

So, while I ride on my wide, tractor-style sprung solo seat, the missus is supposed to balance herself on a leather pad little larger than a business envelope.

Girlfriends may be different, but any guy suggesting a real wife ride on something like this will be hanging out a "Motorcycle for Sale by Wife" sign.

I feel the marketing here is all wrong.

Classic Motorworks should advertise the Kitten Cushion pillion pad as "The Wildcat Performance Seat."

I think the real use for this thing would be mounted forward on the rear fender so the rider can sit back on it to lean forward. Examples of this sort of mounting are seen on vintage racing motorcycles.

1930s Royal Enfield 250 hardtail racer with pillion canted forward.
Spotted for sale on Car and Classic.

Guaranteed 5 mph top speed increase! Maybe more! If you survive.

As kids, we used to slide back onto the rear racks of our 10-speeds to go tearing down the mountains outside Los Angeles. We survived, through no fault of our own.

Of course you would never really do this on a motorcycle. At my age, I'd be taking Ibuproven for a week afterwards if I tried. But consider the look.

Instead of saying "I Can't Get a Date So I Don't Need a Real Passenger Seat," the Wildcat Performance Seat says "I'm Too Speedy for My Own Good."

I want one!