Joy and happiness on a Royal Enfield motorcycle

Ride a Royal Enfield and be as happy as this fellow.

Happiness is a Royal Enfield motorcycle.

Other motorcycles may create happiness, but your results will vary by brand. I recommend a Royal Enfield as the only sure route to joy, happiness and fulfillment.

You'll notice the improvement in your spirits, level of energy and general feeling of well being the instant your Royal Enfield roars to life in the morning — provided of course that it does start at all.

Once in motion, even your personal appearance is guaranteed to improve, as a Royal Enfield instantly transforms its rider from disheveled to dashing, with absolutely no change of clothes required. The effect is magical.

You'll be swept by waves of joy with each upshift of the Albion transmission (allowing for the occasional false neutral).

As with any other medication, you should follow recommended dosage (one ride a day is not too often) and you should not take your Royal Enfield with other drugs or alcohol.

For best results DO NOT discontinue riding your Royal Enfield unless recommended by your mechanic. Sudden deprivation of riding a Royal Enfield may lead to feelings of depression, weariness and boredom.

Symptoms of this include grumbling, obsessive channel surfing, and excessive consumption of foil-wrapped "snacks." Sufferers may take refuge in consumption of alcohol accompanied by the flinging of "the empties" into adjacent environmentally sensitive wetlands.

Prolonged Royal Enfield Deficiency Syndrome can have serious consequences. If symptoms persist or worsen, see your dealer immediately.