Does this motorcycle jacket make my butt look big?

My riding jacket makes my butt look big.

I own a proper leather jacket, proudly embossed with "Royal Enfield" on the breast pocket. So why do I choose to wear a plastic yellow jacket when I ride my Royal Enfield?

Why would anyone choose to ride a deliberately retro-looking motorcycle yet dress like he's on a — sniff — Honda?

It's not so much that I used to own a Honda. And it's not just that yellow is the International Color for Chicken, although I do like the visibility afforded by the bright jacket.

The thin nylon jacket offers close to zero protection in a fall. On the plus side, it's comfortable in humid Florida weather, with vents under the arms that can be unzipped to provide cooling to the all-important arm pits.

It's real downfall, however, is that it has a zippered pouch across the back that I found convenient for holding my scarf (for cold mornings) and a small fabric backpack in case I unexpectedly decide to bring something home.

This built in fanny pack makes my butt look big. I admit it.

The jacket is by Lands' End. It's worn out now and I would replace it with the same thing but, as far as I can determine, it's out of production.

I promise its replacement will look more suitable for Royal Enfield motorcycling.

Now if I would only do something about the white sneakers....