Christmas wishes from Royal Enfield's Bunty Golightly

Maj. Bunty Golightly wishes Royal Enfield riders a Merry Christmas.

Just when holiday shopping was wearing me down and Peace on Earth seemed an impossible dream, the nicest Christmas gift landed in my email.

It is "Royal Enfield Christmas," posted on the Royal Enfield Yahoo group by Maj. Bertram "Bunty" Golightly. It's Bunty's version of "T'was The Night Before Christmas," featuring his lingerie clad personal assistant and Santa riding a Royal Enfield sidecar combination.

Check it out on the Royal Enfield group (it's posted on the Bullet Mania group as well). I won't spoil it, but here's one favorite passage:

More rapid than beezas the outriders came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name,
Now Cruiser now Clipper, now Interceptor and Bullet,
On Meteor on Ensign, my Model K you must pull it,
Across the courtyard to the old garage wall,
Now rev away, rev away, rev away all...

I've never succeeded in uncovering the author of Bunty's inspired rants on all things Royal Enfield, female and alcoholic. Bunty insists, when challenged, that he really is a retired British Army major and master of the Golightly family estate, Blotto Hall, in Much Piddling, Merryshire, England.

His Yahoo profile tells us that he is interested in: "Motorbicycling, shooting anything that moves including game animals, peasants and Chinese scooters, foxhunting with the Bullethounds, haggis breeding, chasing fillies, enthusiastic imbiber of alcoholic beverages, adding pertinent comments to otherwise dull correspondence (probably your correspondence)."

Delightful past-times all, I am sure.

Merry Christmas, Major.