Royal Enfield Goan Classic 350 is hot/cool

White wall tires and ape-hanger handlebars come to Royal Enfield.

 Royal Enfield's newest addition to its line-up of U.S. models is the Goan Classic 350. 

It's named for Goa, the hot/cool tourist and festival destination in India. And it's plenty hot/cool itself. 

For one, it is magnificently and courageously retro: white wall tires come with one of the two color schemes available in the U.S. It has retro looking wire wheels, but these are designed for tubeless tires, which many riders prefer. Nice. 

For two, it's a "bobber," a designation that originally referred to a motorcycle crudely "customized" by hacking off any bits that were bent or rusted. 

In Royal Enfield's hands, this bobber is bright and shiny, but definitely customized. 

This includes having a rear fender that rides close to the rear wheel, because it is sprung with the wheel. This is a custom touch that adds weight to the rear suspension, negatively affecting ride and handling. But it sure looks hot/cool. 

It also addresses one of the complaints about the other Classic 350 models: that their rear fender, attached to the frame, not the suspension, is ugly because it leaves too much visual space between it and the tire.

Determinably retro Royal Enfield Goan Classic 350 in "Trip Teal."

The semi-ape hanger handlebars of the Goan Classic 350 are another feature that may appeal to Americans. They're a typical feature of "choppers" (another reference to cutting things up to customize them).

True ape-hangers are tall enough to get in your face, and are part of the outlaw look Americans seem to have invented.

The cute little ape hangers of the Goan Classic 350 don't deliberately convey disdain to quite the outlaw degree. But they hint at it.

Projecting obnoxious attitude isn't something the Royal Enfield 350s can do very well anyway. Their single-cylinder motors don't put out the power to shut down anybody. The Goan Classic 350 packs only 20 horsepower to move its 434 pounds.

The motor is shared with the other Royal Enfield 350s already in the U.S. These are the Bullet 350, the Meteor 350, the Classic 350 and the Hunter 350. Pick your flavor.

The Goan Classic 350 is closest in appearance to the Classic 350.

The Goan Classic 350 is the most expensive of the bunch, but even it is surprisingly affordable at $4,999 MSRP (you will, of course, pay more than that, in line with SOP in the USA).

Reviewers in India seemed to like riding the Goan Classic 350, calling it relaxing.

"In my opinion, this bike is for the easy rider out there who enjoys watching the scenery go by at a leisurely pace," wrote Abhinav Jakhar in MSN.

Royal Enfield Goan Classic 350 in Rave Red. Website photo emphasizes India, almost to the point of hiding the motorcycle.

Reviewers typically relate the mild mannered Goan 350 to Goa itself, as laid back and fun. Royal Enfield's website for America unreservedly picks up on India-specific cues.

Americans may not fully understand these. But they may, nevertheless, like what they see in the motorcycle.

Specifications from TopSpeed.

Funny ads for used Royal Enfields

What a lovely photo this would have been if the motorcycle had been pulled another few feet out of the garage!

 Goofy CraigsList ads for Royal Enfield motorcycles don't bother me. 

I enjoy the amusement of reading advertisements from sellers who don't know, don't care, or who -- sometimes -- deliberately exaggerate what they have. 

In the course of a few days of watching Royal Enfield motorcycles advertised for sale, I'll certainly come across examples like these: 

1. So-called "cafe racers" that have ape-hanger handlebars.

It's a "cafe" the advertisement claimed.

2. "Like new" bikes with "only a few" scratches.

3. "Used bikes" not even a year old with single-digit mileage and low prices. Can these be real? Did the seller research asking prices before listing the ad? Is there a catch?

4. "Restored" bikes with enormous asking prices: $10,000 for an old Bullet?

5. Over-restored "1965" Bullets with front license plates from India and zero miles on the (obviously brand new) odometers.

6. Bikes with broken electric start, described as an "easy fix." (It's not.)

What is the seller trying to suggest by including the garbage can?

7. "Always garaged" bikes posed next to a seller's garbage cans.

8. An INT 650 described as a "650 International."

9. A beautiful bike posed with a messy garage.

10. Too much information: "Been dropped twice both. First owner was in there garage and 2nd was my wife in our drive way. She is to short to put her foot down hahaha."

11. Royal Enfield described as originally a maker of military weapons.

(Royal Enfield courted this distinction, with its "Made Like a Gun" motto and the "Enfield" association with the royal armory, but it was barely true. During the world wars the UK company made armaments aplenty, but these were not the original products of a firm that started as a maker of needles and grew up as a bicycle business.)

12. And my all-time favorite: Royal Enfields described as "Infields." This is certainly a mistake caused by Americans' familiarity with baseball infields.

"Infield" is probably not a deliberate attempt to describe a Royal Enfield made in India. Thus "In-Field."

That would almost make sense.

And here's one contributed by a reader, and boy, is he ever right:

13. You forgot- "ran when parked." These listings are generally for bikes that have sat at least 30 years. LOL

And here it is, a CraigsList ad that I recall I listed here on my blog back when I first started it, almost two decades ago. With this EXACT SAME PHOTO.

The seller states, in his most recent ad, that it "Ran fine last time I started it ten years ago."

Keep eyes on the road, not the screen

 The headline on the article in Wired reads "Rejoice! Carmakers Are Embracing Physical Buttons Again." 

It's the best news I've read in a long time, if slightly premature. Not all carmakers are going back to safer eyes-off controls, and none are doing very much to bring them back. 

There are strong economic incentives for vehicle manufacturers to install do-it-all touchscreens, with elaborate menus that require looking at the screen while the car is in motion. 

They'll continue to do so, despite obvious safety hazards. Motorcycle makers have the same incentives. But it's not motorcycle instrument panels that mostly menace motorcyclists. 

"Distracted" automobile drivers are the huge threat to motorcyclists. Riders already fear they're nearly invisible, even to attentive drivers. Screens promote additional distraction. 

Experienced drivers and riders know that the best kind of controls are those you can operate without having to look at them. Knobs, switches, levers and buttons placed where muscles can remember their location and function are life savers. 

Quoted in the Wired article is VW design chief Andreas Mindt:

"It's not a phone, it's a car."

That simple philosophy, put into effect across the industry, could save many lives.

Wired printed a chart from IAM Roadsmart showing the change in reaction time caused by various distractions. An undistracted driver has a reaction time of one second. A drunk driver has a reaction time 12 percent greater.

That's bad.

What's worse? A driver using Apple CarPlay on the touch screen has a reaction time 57 percent greater.

If automakers seriously do address the problem of distracting screens, I suspect the first thing they will do is go to voice commands. That's better, but not much.

The Wired chart shows that using CarPlay voice commands only reduces added reaction time to 36 percent greater than that of an undistracted driver.

My wife patiently endures my resistance to using, or even looking at, the touch screen on the dashboard of our family car.

As co-pilot, she attends to the various functions, and even announces what the navigation map shows.

"Not this light, but at the next one, turn left," she'll say.

What am I looking at instead? The road ahead, as seen through the windshield.

I'm not a hero; just an old guy who grew up driving old cars and, for almost a decade, commuting on an old Royal Enfield motorcycle.

On a motorcycle, you had better not be looking at the instrument panel (such as there is, on a motorcycle) when moving.

The only downside to ignoring a motorcycle dash is that the turn signals on a motorcycle are not self-cancelling, so, yes, an inattentive motorcyclist can merrily ride for miles indicating a turn he never takes.

That's important. I try to compensate by using hand signals, which do, in effect, self cancel.

In the car, I let my wife wrestle with CarPlay.